WARNING: EXPLICIT MATERIAL:
Hello again! I am almost sad that I have yet more of these Tinder Bachelors, and it appears the number of them on the App aren’t dwindling. Men, aren’t you taking note of these?? Ladies, why aren’t you giving your single male friends/family/coworkers good advice in what to post?? Oh well, its definitely providing me with endless enjoyment and I hope you all as well! So because I know you’re all waiting to see just what you’re missing out on this last week, may I present more of Tinder’s most eligible bachelors!
‘I work out….hard….kinda’
So I am not putting ‘D’ down here or anything, but the dude is curling as much as I do – they’re 20 lbs. There was a close up to make sure you saw how strong he was (I’m about half his size to put that in context). I am going to assume there was so many attempts to get the perfect lighting, pose etc that he couldn’t curl anymore, but hey kudos to him for it not being a selfie!
Put some clothes on! Ewwwww
WTF?! I don’t even know what to say about these pictures other than, guys put some clothes on! Actually I think my biggest question for both of them is….Who is taking these pictures for them?! These aren’t flattering or sexy pictures at all, so note to guys out there, DO NOT post pictures like these unless you want women to laugh at you while running away scared.
The ‘stylish’ men of Tinder
These men are in desperate need of a woman…to pick out their clothing for them because they obviously can’t do it. A couple tips: 1. Just because the clothing items are exactly the same colour, doesn’t mean you should put them together 2. Ugly sweaters only have a place in the 80’s and ugly christmas sweater parties and only then…barely. 3. Matching your background to your outfit is only acceptable if you’re in camouflage and in the military, ‘Minty’. Also, what kind of a name is that anyways?! 4. Wearing your tuque so there is a giant nub on the top doesn’t work in my opinion. It doesn’t look cool or gangster. It makes you look like a baby bottle nipple.
Tattoo love brought to a whole new level
So I am pretty sure the only jobs, ‘J’ could possibly have are working in a tattoo shop, for a biker gang or a fully costumed mascot. Tattoos are awesome, but there is a point when it just because excessive, like when you get spider webs tattooed to your skull and other random things on your face…just saying…when you run out of room below your neck you should probably seek help for an addiction.
The ‘I love life’ selfie
I am pretty sure I’ve not seen someone look so sad and destitute in a dating profile pic. I almost feel bad for, ‘G’ (which may be his goal now that I come to think of it. Pity date?) I really can’t bring myself to make any negative comments about him for fear that it could push him over the edge. Just a tip for everyone else deciding what pictures to use on a dating site, choose ones where you look like you enjoy life even just slightly. Don’t give it away in your first picture that going out with you would be a bad move and make for the most boring and/or depressing date ever.
uuummm…a picture of you grabbing at your friends junk isn’t appealing to women and now that I know where you put your hands I don’t want them near me. Enough said.
The ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ guy
This picture is wrong on so many levels. Not only does he look like a wolf man, but he’s wearing short cut off jean shorts!? Then, there’s the robe he chose to pair the shorts with. I really just feel bad for the people that were there to witness this! I just have a question for ‘J’…Are you actually trying to attract a woman for a date? or just illicit laughter? Girls like a guy that can make them laugh, but you probably don’t have to try this hard.
The ‘I have a drinking problem’ guy
I enjoy liquor and having a good night partying with friends the odd time just as much as the next person, but chugging vodka from a giant bottle doesn’t say you also enjoy having a good time out with friends it basically says you probably have a drinking problem and should make some new friends in an AA group.
‘I mean business’ business man
This guy obviously means business, he’s even requesting applications! Any takers? Anyone? Chances are you’d get it, I doubt there is much competition 😉
I think this could be an invite to a tea party? He obviously likes to live dangerously….I know, I know, it doesn’t appear this way at first; the guys best picture is him drinking tea in an actual china tea cup. BUT THINK ABOUT IT! – I don’t know too many men that would risk putting scalding hot liquid in an open container that close to his naked member.
Well that concludes this weeks edition of Tinder’s most eligible bachelors! I am still left wondering if these guys ever have any matches…..but hey they say there’s someone out there for everyone right?