Hello everyone! I know you’ve probably been missing some of the hilarious profile pictures I come across on the dating app, Tinder! It’s been a couple weeks since I last entertained you with pictures of the weird, funny and some just downright scary eligible bachelors available on Tinder. I really don’t know how I keep coming across so many. Here ya go!
The weird and just scary sexually explicit pictures
OMG. OK well the first one gets at least 1 point for the fact that he wants to do domestic chores, I won’t lie. I would love to find a man who enjoyed them so I didn’t have to, but I’d prefer the guy to well just not be wearing a latex dress. The 2nd I don’t even have words for because I am just in shock honestly. To each their own, but that sh*t be CRAZY!
These guys must get so many matches. Problem is they probably get confused and think they’re ordering pizza to handle those munchies. Yep… I am fairly certain these pics are of exactly what they were doing when they signed up for Tinder – getting high in their parents basement.
I worko.. I just for pictures
So this guy actually goes to my gym, and I can honestly attest that he wears things like this for real while working out. Actually I’ve never really seen him work out. This is actually pretty much what he does…hog weights and benches to take pictures with them. If you’re going to at least try to prove you workout guys, don’t wear tight khakis and Timberlands. It only proves you take pictures at the gym.
So I really hope this profile is someones idea of a practical joke. It seriously freaks me out. But this is either way a real person….and in none of these pictures is he in a padded room. He’s loose in public. Again, these are weird as f*ck and not selfies so that means there isn’t just the one person you’re seeing thats messed up, but there is someone else who’s probably taking the pictures.
My relationship with a blow up doll totally counts!
I am pretty sure that the last relationship, and most likely only one these two have had – and will have will be with a blow up doll, most real women, that I know of anyway, wouldn’t want to swipe right for these guys especially considering in their heads this is the BEST representation and flattering pictures they have of themselves. Although, S, says he’s looking for fun times and good conversation, which is apparent by the company he parties with – S, usually an actual brain and functioning real body are key for that, although he likes the outdoors so he’d never have to worry about making sure she wasn’t too cold or hot and listening to her complain about that and the bugs! In, P’s, case, I just have to say…SERIOUSLY?! you thought posing in front of your trailer, and naked (and you obviously drink way too much beer and eat more than any type of physical activity can burn off…you should keep your clothes on), probably drunkenly and therefore terrible rendition of some country song would be attractive to women? How?
No idea how to take a selfie guys
Ok so guys generally there are some rules when taking selfies, especially to attract women. 1. Don’t wear sunglasses inside, especially when there’s no sun shining in. You’re not hot enough to be blinded by it if you look directly at yourself. 2. Don’t take them in your grandma’s bedroom. If its yours, not there either if you decorate like an 85 yr old woman. 3. Turn the flash OFF when taking a mirror selfie…duh. 4. Don’t call yourself cool…especially when what you’re wearing would embarrass a woman to be seen with you, and you don’t even know how to operate a smart phone camera flash.
The I just got out of bed and think I look amazing so better take a selfie
No…you guys don’t look good to women who don’t know you when you either look like you’ve not brushed your hair or stare creepily into your phone camera with a soapy, wet giant beard. Yes, a woman does like a man when their hair is slightly tousled and when they’re clean, but the samples above aren’t even close to what we mean. FAIL!
So those are just a few of the eligible bachelors all you lucky single ladies can happen upon on Tinder, and if you’re really lucky maybe you’ll score a date. I feel though that if you do with some of these guys it may be the last you’re heard from. And single guys…can you please get your act together?! Creepy, terribly unflattering, and downright scary and weird will not attract women!