You’re Old. You’re Fat. I’m Rich. Buy Me a Drink
I’m sure based on the title, you’re thinking this is going to be another article about how women should not expect guys to buy them drinks.
You are mistaken.
This is a story of hilarity and frustration from last night, that got me thinking, there are some circumstances where men you’ve just met should buy everything.
So, Jess (one of the other writers) and I decide to go for a girls’ dinner, and I like to sit at the bar. It feels more social and anyone that knows me, knows I can talk to anyone, anywhere, for any length of time. THIS, HOWEVER, DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO.
I am a friendly person. I’ll talk to you. I’ll even probably enjoy your company for a few minutes. This was not the case last night. Jess and I walked in, sat down at the bar next to a seemingly nice and polite old man. WRONG. The next hour consisted of him telling us about 5 things:
1. Stories from the war that I think were made up
2. How my boyfriend was probably cheating on me because we were having separate dinners and all men cheat.
3. How I looked 30 (I’m 24. thanks) but it’s okay because he said I was thin
4. How Jess looked like a size 6 (not that a size 6 is big but she’s a size 0 on a bad day) but it’s okay because she looked younger than me
5. How much money he had, including but not limited to his boat and how much he sold it for ($5 mil,) his bus boy that does everything for him, and how he’s never alone because he can get an escort any time he wants.
Oh yeah… and he “woo’d” a lot. Like a high pitch WOO every time he said something about himself that he thought we should be impressed with.
Okay. In hindsight we probably should have just moved, but the bar was packed and it wasn’t an easy thing to do. So we’ve finished eating and this guy orders me a drink. I’m assuming that he’s ordered it and is paying for it. SO I STAY AND DRINK A BIT MORE THEN THANK HIM to then find out when I get my bill, he has actually just taken it upon himself to order me a drink on my own bill because he wanted us to stay.
If that wasn’t enough, THEN he had the nerve to ask me to buy HIM a drink. When I responded with “You’re the one with all the money, right?” he said, and I quote, “Well, you are not going to go home with me tonight, right?” – Uhm NO 70 year old man, who has only talked about how much money he has, how old I look and how fat my best friend looks and yet still thinks I should buy him a drink. No I am not going home with you tonight.
So after that story, to get to the point yes. I think that guys like that should buy girls drinks. I think guys like that should buy the girls they are talking to everything. I just endured 2 hours of pain hearing you talk about yourself and how much money you have, and you’re asking me to buy you a drink? I have guy friends that I actually enjoy spending time with who won’t let me pay for anything.
I’m sure there will be people who argue the fact that “women want to be independent” and “they shouldn’t expect guys to buy them drinks” and blah blah blah. I don’t care. I’m independent and I can buy my own drinks, but there is nothing nicer than a guy who buys me my favourite drink and then actually asks about ME and doesn’t expect me to go home with him. I’m not saying guys should pay for everything all the time but it’s like opening the door for a girl, or walking up to her house instead of just waiting in the car or making sure she gets home okay! Guys have it too easy these days, and the fact that even a guy who was born in the 40’s thought his actions were not only appropriate, but might actually lead to me going home with him is really sad in my opinion.
So there it is. Your Boozeday Tuesday. You can agree or disagree, but you do have to admit that man is ridiculous!